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  • Comparison robs dignity - because you NEVER know how someone else feels.

  • Comparing losses (even within the same family) - can be so very hurtful.  Why?  Because each relationship is unique to that person and is NOT comparable.  In fact comparing can minimize (and dismiss) their feelings.

  • Don't be the cause for another person to "stuff" their feelings and pretend to be "fine" when they are NOT.

  • Avoiding words like "you" "should" "never" "always" - as that will only cause them to stuff their feelings.

These well-meaning phrases are not helpful at all to say (or do)

- so please refrain..

  • Get over it

  • Don't feel bad

  • Replace the loss

  • Grieve alone

  • Just give it time

  • Be strong

  • Keep busy

  • Get a hold of yourself

  • You can't fall apart

  • Keep a stiff upper lip

  • Pull yourself up by your bootstraps

  • It could be worse

  • All things must pass

  • Not meant to be

  • God brings good out of everything

  • There are other fish in the sea

  • The living must go on

  • Be grateful you had him for so long

  • You can (or already have) other children

  • Aren't you over that yet?

  • They had a good life

  • At least they are not suffering anymore

  • They are in a better place

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