Wondering if you are 'normal' in your grief? Your feelings, whatever they are are normal. Contact me to clarify the myths - that Elisabeth Kübler-Ross meant only for those receiving very drastic, medical diagnosis - not for the rest of us grieving.
So, now that we know this --- what do we do with all these unfinished relationships, unspoken feelings and more?
First, realize that the things people say (though often with good intentions) is what they learned and likely not helpful. Those things actually promote stuffing - which never helps anyone. Stuffing just builds up like water in a tea kettle. Without tools, they can explode at any moment - and it may not be 'pretty' (likely not at all).
Secondly, the myths are untrue --- your feelings are fine - it's what you do with them that may not be so helpful. So accepting your feelings as real is a great start.
Thirdly, realize that each relationship is unique, including in the same family. No one grieves the same way. However, there are healthy ways to grieve --- and less healthy. So, it's important to watch out for extremes in dealing with the feelings (i.e. extremes in sleeping, eating, drinking, shopping). These create distractions, and can make things worse.
Fourthly, what is happening now, if nothing changes will get stuffed. This will drastically affect how you move forward in your life. No one wants to go in circles. It can become like being on an exercise bicycle --- the wheels are spinning and still going no where.
Fifthly - If you can value yourself - please at least call me for a 45-minute free consult. It will give you information to see what you would like to do next. If we are not a good fit, I can help you find resources that are. I believe in this program so much, I have dedicated 15 years to it. I only wish I had these tools decades ago (also for those I mentored).
Sixthly - With the tools and support - you can utilize the tools in the homework, take each step with help. You are not alone in this. When we tackle each step, 3 important relationships that you wish were 'better, different or more' - then you have learned the tools for the future. And if you need help, you can contact me or the Grief Recovery Institute for support.
