Summary of Weeks # 2 - 3
Sometimes we try and pretend we are OKAY and say we are FINE when we are not. This may be because we don't want people to worry about us. Or, it may be that we don't want to be judged by others. The truth is often people around us don't know what to say or do so they will likely say the wrong thing or they may avoid us or the topic of the loss. Sometimes we need to teach them. They may say "I know how you feel" but truly no one does. Even in the same family, each relationship is different. It is completely normal to feel exhausted and overwhelmed after a loss, and is not necessarily depression. What it does mean, is that placing people in categories is also not helpful. Telling people what they 'should' do, is also not what people need. Whatever we feel (and what we do with those feelings) are OUR responsibility.
"No one can make you feel bad about yourself without your permission" (Eleanor Roosevelt). We look at what things people have said that are helpful (or not) and what we need to hear instead.
We observe what we are doing with our feelings that is distracting us from feeling our feelings and keeping us stuck. These may provide Short-Term Relief but do not help us. In fact these include extremes in behaviour of working, eating, drinking, sleeping, shopping, isolation, watching tv, video games etc. and finding a healthy balance again. This can only take place if we identify the behaviors that are not helping us heal.